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Foodnomenon: An Open Letter to Foodies

April 16, 2014 / by / 0 Comment

An Open Letter to Foodies:

Dear Foodies,

Stop. Just stop. I’ve had enough. Yes, we get it, you like taking pretty pictures of your bloody food. But have you ever thought about how inconsiderate you are, tossing your unsuspecting Instagram followers into a sea of gastronomical desperation?

Here’s a list of reasons why we can’t be friends anymore:

1. I’m Vegetarian

(Before you start hating on me, I do try, for the most part, to be everyone’s favourite vegetarianI don’t shove my beliefs down your throat, so I’d very much appreciate it if you do the same. For a guide on how to be friends with me, please read: https://medium.com/human-parts/fd3a8c51d903. In case you’re not clicking, here’s an excerpt: “More importantly, though, it’s entirely possible to not be a hypocrite and still be an a**hole.”)

I’ll be going on exchange to Glasgow next year, and to prepare myself for the journey and get a better sense of the city I’ve followed a couple of things on social media. The other day, this happened:

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None of the other accounts, understandably, would even notice that their follower count has increased by 1 out of the other thousands of followers they have, but no, this account, which I didn’t even know of, has decided to follow me. If I have to see another caption about how the gravy that’s oozing from the chicken is just right, or scroll past another picture of beef tenderloin, I’m going to barf.

To their credit, they really do have amazing pictures. Just look at this:

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(Image Source: http://instagram.com/p/mv9B0SlErs/)

Scotland is also home to Haggis, which Wikipedia describes as “a savoury pudding containing sheep’s pluck (heart, liver and lungs)”. I’ve had it approximately ten years ago in Edinburgh, when my primary school teachers had fooled us all into take a huge bite and happily wiping our mouths before telling us what it was made of. At which point all of our expression turned into one of Ronald Weasley’s when he was puking slugs in Chamber of Secrets.

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(Image Source: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgvepr475J1qa8ir9o1_500.gif)

But hey, if I can survive two months in Turkey living off ciğ köfte, nothing is impossible.

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(Picture of the cute cig kofte guy at Balcova, Izmir, Turkey.)

Last week hKUDOS Blogger Chloe Lam also posted a recipe on Portobello Florentine, which almost brought tears to my eyes.

Looks like I accidentally got a bit side-tracked. Where was I? Oh yes.

2. I’m eternally broke

Fine dining’s fine, but not really when your friends are all mini-bourgeoisies and you sleep on a sofa in a crappy apartment in Kennedy Town. Yes, my dear, I saw that lovely picture of the $300 al dente pasta on your instagram. Yes, I saw that elegant glass of wine too. YES, I saw how the restaurant has a fantastic view of the harbor. No, I can’t come out tonight, I made plans with my pillow to cry over my impoverished existence (first-world problem alert).

All jokes aside, I really can’t bring myself to spend ¼ of my rent on a meal. Ever since Kimmie posted that blog on food, we’ve made a pledge to eat cheaply together (we have a lot in common, i.e. laziness, poor, no friends; if this sounds like you too, please apply for hKUDOS next year).

3. You’re not allowed to do this when I’m stuck at home with an essay

If you’ve read my post on procrastination, you’d know that my skills are jedi-master level. What’s worse than wanting to take a break at 3am, going onto Instagram, and being visually attacked by a series of:

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(For those new to HKU: this is the famous yum jo cha place, Sun Hing at Kennedy Town! Cantopop Legend Eason Chan is said to be a regular here.)

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(Photo Credit: http://instagram.com/anthea_ccy)

The best part? Some of these places aren’t even on HK Island. They’re all the way in Tuen Mun or something, or even off the map in some secret Area 51-ish location that foodies have exclusive access to. If it’s deadlines week, the chances that your taste buds can get their gratification – nil.

4. I like my food piping hot

Not only do I have to sever my social media ties with you, but I don’t see how we’d be able to eat together anymore either. If you tell me to hold it and forbid me to start poking at my food just so that you can take a picture of the table when everything’s arrived – NO.

I’m rude for not waiting? YOU’RE RUDE FOR NOT LETTING ME EAT!

5. I’m secretly jealous of your social media following

I can probably start food blogging too, but I have a feeling it won’t work out too well. How many posts of plain congee and cheong fun am I allowed to put out on hKUDOS before I start getting pelted with eggs?

JUST KIDDING! We all love foodies. Without them, how on earth are we going to get an accurate description of what’s good and what’s not? Are you really going to rely on the OpenRice ratings, 50% of which are probably people hired by the restaurants themselves to do this? (P.S. If you can read Chinese, you should really check out some of the stories on OpenRice. I say stories because really, these aren’t reviews, they’re sensational, steamy hot foodPORN in the most literal sense.)

Here are some of our favourite HKU foodies -

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(Photo Credits: Nusaba Cherry. Just look at that swag!)
Amongst them, Meyi (foodie #1) is a member of the current hKUDOS team! Check out her food-filled instagram here: http://instagram.com/meyigunady

Other awesome HKU foodies include:
Past hKUDOS Blogger Stella Ko –  http://www.als.hku.hk/hkudos/author/stellako/
My ex-flatmate Anthea Chu – Year 3 Law student http://instagram.com/anthea_ccy
Ivan William @ ivanthefoodie http://instagram.com/ivanthefoodie
Charlie @ nomcharlie http://instagram.com/nomcharlie
J
oei https://www.facebook.com/JoeiLivesToEat
Karies Lam, a Year 3 law student on exchange at Ontariohttp://instagram.com/instafoodhunter

Calling all Foodies: April is Food month on hKUDOS, and we’ll be announcing more details about an upcoming contest about food. If you blog about food and would like to be featured at hKUDOS, drop us an email at hkudos@hku.hk!

Best,
Karen

(Header Photo Credit: http://www.kelseyskitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/instagram.jpg)




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