“Just friends”

April 10, 2012 / by / 0 Comment

A couple of weeks ago, my best friend, Laura, shared with me a video about why men and women can’t be “just friends.”  The guy in the video interviewed university-aged individuals, asking them if they thought relationships between men and women can remain strictly platonic.


Basically, all the men said “no,” and all the women said “yes,” which is sufficient evidence to draw a conclusion.  Maybe not empirically, but anyway.  My immediate reaction to this video was, if this is about sexuality, then can’t gay men be friends with straight women, and gay women be friends with straight men, etc. etc.?

Since I don’t have any friends who are gay, I can’t really answer that, and would appreciate it if someone did a similar experiment that includes a queer perspective.  But based on my experiences with my guy friends, I’ve never stepped out of the friend zone with them.  Although there were no explicit declarations, there were mutual understandings.

Of course, it didn’t matter to me that much when I was single, but now that Mr. Xunshine (Mr. X) is in the picture, Laura’s share caught my attention.  Ever since we started dating, he has been reassuring me about how he will keep a distance from other girls.  I guess it’s because he would agree with the guys in the video.  I know I should thank him for being considerate, but I’m not entirely comfortable with his decision.  If I were the reason why Mr. X avoids establishing meaningful friendships with members of my sex, wouldn’t this make me the “bad guy?”  Also, if he feels the need to keep a safe distance from other girls in case he wants something more than friendship with them, what does that say about me?  Doesn’t this imply that I’m replaceable?  So I’m a replaceable selfish bitch.  Great

In an ideal world, straight male-female relationships can remain strictly platonic and jealous girlfriends / boyfriends don’t exist.  In this world, though, we’ll all just have to keep guessing.